Our brains are so powerful and will believe the stories we tell it. And it’s more nuanced than our mindset, because it’s also about our body-set - the way our nervous systems are wired and how our bodies respond to pleasure (what subconscious core beliefs we have about pleasure).
When we think self critical thoughts such as:
- ‘I am taking too long to orgasm’
- ‘Is my partner enjoying this - is what I’m doing good enough?’
- ‘I don’t like the way my body looks in this position’
These self critical thoughts are a form of stress.
Stress hormone levels increase and our body reacts to self criticism, as if we are under attack.
We can use the power of our mind and body to rehearse, visualise and feel the sensations of pleasure, in a sexually intimate scenario.
What’s important, is to also add in to our practice, connecting with a sense of safety and ease in the body. So that we are re-wiring for pleasure, and learning to associate safety, love and belonging, with experiencing more pleasure.
You can practice activating your turn-ons, by paying attention to your pleasure sensations.
The flip side is that you are turning down the volume of self-critical thoughts, which can act as a sexual brake - or a turn off.
You can start practicing this now with the guided audio for Women:
Embracing your Orgasmic Self