As a fellow shame feeler and innocence antidote seeker I am here to share the news firstly that shame isn’t who you are. It is not all of who you are. This might seem like a bit of a weird thing to say, but when we are so strongly conditioned to feeling shame from a young age, we can internalise it so strongly that shame can become us.
Shame can feel like it’s who we are.
In the small every day interactions with others our shame antennae’s will so acutely pick up for perceived shame triggers ready to signal to ourselves that we have a reason to feel shame. Shame can take a strong hold over our sense of self-worth and deservingness of being treated kindly, with love and respect.
Shame can feel like we are keeping a dirty secret inside. If anyone knew what we were hiding inside, they would run a mile from us. Shame can feel unbearable at times and can lead to us wanting to hide from others who we really are through fear we will not be accepted and loved for all of who we are.
We can gradually over time build a new relationship with the parts of ourselves that feel deep seated shame. We can transform and lessen the hold that shame has on us. We can create a new internal environment that supports the voice of shame to come up, be heard, be listened to, supported and loved.
We can return to a sense of wonder and innocence with ourselves.
We can unravel the layers of shame that have piled up over and over again.
So it is with a sense of playfulness to support the loaded topic of shame that I share my video for this blog on Shame.
In this video you’ll hear about some of the ways shame feels for us and 3 steps to begin and continue to heal what well known author John Bradshaw terms’ the shame the binds us’.
And after you have watched the video and practised the steps, I’d love to hear how it was for you to begin to create a new relationship with your shame. Email me at coaching@emmaspiegler.com
With love,
Emma