Erectile Dysfunction, as a term, is setting men up, for feeling like a failure.
I looked up Erectile Dysfunction on google and saw the word Impotence.
Then I looked up the definition of Impotence:
inability in a man to achieve an erection or orgasm.
Apparently, "few men suffering from impotence feel confident enough to ask their GP for advice".
Well, of course men are not going to reach out for support, if that is the term they have been doomed with. It needs a total re-frame. This term hardly inspires action towards what men desire to feel about their sexuality.
I recently came across a new term coined by Dr Donaghue - Erectile Disappointment (for psychological ED). This feels a lot more supportive. It's not inadvertently placing the shame on the man. I wonder, from this starting point, if there is more inspiration to take action?
Shame can put us in freeze mode - we can't take inspired action from this place.
Psychological Erectile Dysfunction is seen as personal failure. But for many men, it’s not a dysfunction at all.
It’s anxiety held in the mind and body, that can be overcome.
Instead of seeing this as a dysfunction (when men often turn to Viagra), shift your mindset to seeing it as your body telling you something. Do you need to question the beliefs that have led you to experience ED, in the first place? Do you need to learn how to relax, during intimacy?
Questions you can ask yourself are:
"Why do I feel the pressure to perform?" "Who said that sex needs to always end in orgasm?" "Why do I feel my partner's pleasure is my responsibility?"
What new beliefs do you want to hold when it comes to sex? Here's a few ideas:
"I don’t have to be hard to pleasure my partner and have satisfying sex" "I can have incredibly pleasurable sex, without having penis-in-vagina sex" "I can choose to focus on pleasure, rather than performance"
Want support in overcoming performance anxiety, that includes both your mind AND body, so that you can drop the stress, embarrassment and anxiety and feel free, confident and in control, whatever state of physical arousal you are in?
This is what I do! I privately coach men on these issues, sharing results-based tools and practices, that really do work. As your coach, I am here to hold you accountable, so you can show up fully-committed to do the work. I support you to keep focused, on what it is you really want.