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S3xting Safety

Dr Emma Spiegler here serving up some s3xting safety during the CV times. (Just playing... I am not really a Doctor )

Online dating apps have recorded an increase in engagement globally and with this there will surely be an increase in s3xting as a way of forming much needed connection and companionship at this time.

So here is some ways you will know that sending nude pics, s3xting and camming is feeling good for you:

-It increases the sense of connection you have formed with this person/people. -You feel seen in a positive, affirming way, seen as a s3xual being and celebrated in your s3xuality and the sides you choose to express. - You feel energised by the interactions. -You feel valued and appreciated in sharing your s3exual self. -You feel excited to explore this aspect of yourself. - You are excited to do it again! -After the exciting time you notice you come back to your baseline way of feeling whatever that is for you right now (such as generally doing OK, or generally feeling a bit anxious).

Here is how you may notice that sending nudes, s3exting and camming may be impacting you negatively: You feel a sense of dis-connection before, during or after the interaction. Dis-connection may feel like you are not hearing the cues that help you to feel connected such as...'Can't wait to see the pic'...or 'thank you for sharing I admire your beauty...or 'wow that was a really hot and an exciting time together with you'. There is a sense of dis-honouring of your s3exual offering that you shared - with our swiping culture it can be very easy to de-humanise each other - forget there is a human being on the other side with feelings and emotions. You might notice a feeling of being used, that you feel like another person added to a list, so to speak, and feeling not special in any way for what you offer and bring. You might feel much more anxious than usual on top of a CV anxiety. You might feel regret and you don't want to do it again. You feel tired and heavy after the experience. You might feel like you over stepped a boundary that you originally didn't want to overstep. So you might have only want to show parts of yourself..but ended up getting carried away and showed or shared more than you intended. Here is one really useful way to check in with your body wisdom to see how you feel about this person/people that you want to share your s3exual self with:

The traffic light system

-Ask your head/brain what colour is the light, red, amber or green. Just see what light comes up. - Ask your heart what colour is the light red, amber or green. - Ask your gut what colour, red, amber or green. - Ask your sex centre, your penis, vulva and even your womb area what colour, red, amber or green.

Just see what colours come up and you can ask your head, heart, gut, sex centre why that colour and see what your body responds with.

If you have mostly red's with ambers you might want to look at why that is and put things in place to protect your boundaries and emotional safety. Or not go ahead at all. If it's green's all the way then you feeling emotionally safe to s3xually play. ONE OFF Sessions now available

I usually work long term only. To offer support at this time I am holding one off sessions. If you would like to get support around who in you is doing the picking right now with online dating, especially if you feel you have entered into downward spiralling online dating dynamics. Then I am here to support you as your love, relationships & sexuality coach.

Contact me via coaching@emmaspiegler.com to book your session and for more info.

p.s my quarantine look includes Bluelight Blocker glasses to support Melatonin production at night for a great nights sleep.


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Emma Spiegler

 

©2020 Emma Spiegler. 

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