Mainstream media, movies and most porn, perpetuates the narrative of men conforming to the sexual erotic blueprint ONLY.
This means that what we see, is the narrative that what turns men on and get's them aroused, is direct genital contact, pretty quickly, right at the start of sexual intimacy.
(please note: when I talk about porn in my posts, I am not shaming the use of porn, I'm just saying that some porn perpetuates certain narratives)
There are 5 Erotic blueprints:
1. Sensual 2. Energetic 3. Kink 4. Shapeshifter 5. Sexual
Discovering your blueprint is a MASSIVE GAME CHANGER, when it comes to working out what turns you on and what turns you off, in sexual intimacy.
Men, you might be a sensual or energetic blueprint, but touching yourself or being touched by your partner, in ways that are based on what the sexual erotic blueprint likes.
This could be turning you off and leading you to think that there is something 'wrong' with you and your sexuality.
What might be needed to support you to access your turn on, get you aroused and feeling desire, is to shift the way you touch yourself, to a more sensual and energetic style and then communicate this shift to your partner.
It's a well known fact, that women need foreplay. Well, men need foreplay too.
In fact I love the word Erotic Bridge as a term that allows for sex, that doesn't imply you are both trying to get to the end goal of penis in vagina (PIV) sex. Or that PIV is only what makes sex complete.
Men need Erotic Bridges too, especially if they are an energetic and/or sensual blueprint.
Imagine what your solo and partnered sex would look like, once you've realised you have a different blueprint, to the one society has implied that you have (through repetitive false narratives).