What happens when we get triggered? When we are tired...and our resilience is lower. When our inner child appears, feeling unloved, not seen, misunderstood, uncared for and in need of attention. We may go into shut down mode to protect ourselves. We may not be able to access our adult mind. Our child may take the reigns, and from there on out, be the only one speaking. We could even be aware that our child is speaking in a way that is contributing to us not getting our needs met. In the back of our minds, we know it's probably not helping but do it anyway. When we go into shut down mode...it's actually in that precise moment of time that we so yearn for connection. We want connection yet we are shutting down to allow it to happen. How can we allow connection to happen in these times? What helped me recently was to keep repeating in my mind: I really want connection It's painful not to be in connection How can I come back into connection? It is oh so very tempting isn't it...to let the child run wild with their demands for getting exactly what they want in the way they want it. But where does that leave the child and the adult who both want to connect? When we become aware of the idea that we have an inner child, it can make communication and connection much more likely to happen and to be less challenging. How do we identify that our inner child is appearing? We can track the sensations in our body as we become upset and overwhelmed with sensation and emotions. Our bodies are telling us something isn't feeling good inside. When we know our inner child has appeared we have more of a chance of coming back to our adult minds and being able to express our feelings and communicate what would help us in that moment to come to some sort of resolve. How do you identify when your inner child is appearing? Do you notice any times in particular when he/she/they is likely to appear? Would love to hear your thoughts x
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Emma Spiegler
SEX & RELATIONSHIP COACH
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