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Slow-Build Desire


I speak to (and work with) lots of people, who have slow-build desire.


This is the type of desire that we do not see on the screens;

- slow build - starting off in sexual neutrality, with no or little desire - needs emotional connection first - needs a sexy context for desire and arousal to arise

When it comes to the screens we see people;

- already feeling desire - already aroused - ready to start sexual intimacy, with little or no foreplay - whose mindset is 'in the zone' and surroundings/context may not matter so much


If we’ve watched 100’s of movies and TV programmes from a young age, the subconscious programme running in our minds and bodies is this…

‘If I’m not turned on straight away and don't really feel up for sex, then there must be something wrong with my sexuality’

If this is the case, you more than likely have what is called 'responsive desire' and not the 'spontaneous desire' that we see on the screens.


Want to learn how to create an internal context of safety, love and sexiness in your solo play?

You are definitely going to want to check out the two self pleasure practices:

Embracing your Orgasmic Self (for women)

Penis Love (for Men)




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