The drama triangle. That old chestnut 🌰 The victim The perpetrator The rescuer Once we are in the drama triangle we either feel victimised, or like we want to get our own back and punish the other, or take control and make the situation better in some way. These words don’t feel like it does justice to convey the chaos, emotional upheaval, pain and suffering that comes along with being in the drama triangle. What does it take to walk away? Firstly we can ask ourselves what part of us wants to be in the triangle? 🔺The part that wants to be right 🔺The part that gets an adrenaline rush kick out of the drama 🔺The part that wants to the subconsciously confirm a wounded core belief is in fact correct 🔺 The part that needs to feel understood at all costs Secondly we can take a step back - talk to someone who is not in the triangle and can support us to see how we are playing a role in it too. Thirdly once we know what part or parts of us have been triggered - really focusing in on what is the core need here? Once we know the part and the core need, we can go about meeting this need ourselves through talking to these parts internally with a good heart to heart. It’s a courageous act to step outside of the triangle and try something new and unknown. What do we gain when we exit the triangle? 💜 self worth 💜 inner calm 💜 energy 💜 dignity 💜 self respect 💜 spend time with people who lift us up Curious to hear from you - what are effective ways to not take part in the drama triangle? What do you think we gain when we don’t take part?
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Emma Spiegler
SEX & RELATIONSHIP COACH
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