You know that spell.
You are dating and you meet someone who you have a great chemistry with, sparks are flying, it feels great to connect with someone, and yet some warning signs are going off in your mind and body.
Or you may already be in an established relationship that reminds you over and over again of your old pain from the past.
It's that old familiar feeling of trying to draw blood from a stone.
The old familiar feeling of trying to convince someone you really are worth their time, interest, attention, that you are special.
That old familiar feeling of holding onto the hope that they will change.
What does it take to break the spell of seeking out safety in the familiar, even when this brings so much pain, confusion and self betrayal?
Here are some of the ways we can break the spell:
- Seeing the spell for what it is - an unrelenting commitment to face into the truth of what you see in front of you. Not seeing what you want to see under the influence of a story of what you are looking/hoping for, but really hearing and believing what you see in front of you.
A knowing that spell exists. That there is a part of you that knows very well how to be under this spell.
They say they are not ready for commitment, believe them.
They say I am not looking for a relationship right now, believe them.
They say through their actions that they are not available for the quantity and quality of communication that feels good for you, take this information as real and for what it is. They are not available.
- A commitment to nurture your inner parents or wise adult care giver self - Finding ways that support you to create or build upon an already existing inner wise care giver.
The care giver that knows when to set a boundary, that knows when you need to pull back so you can see the wood from the trees, that knows when to give you a cuddle and tell you that you are always loved, and that ALL of you is loveable.
- Connecting to and creating a bond with your inner child. Now your inner care giver is there, your child has someone reliable, consistent, loving, and supportive to turn to. You can check in with your inner child when dating or in a relationship and ask what do they need right now?
- The empowered sub personality - you create a part of you that you now hand over the control to. This part of you is in the driving seat. You can have your red flags written down. Your green flags written down. The type of relationship that you would like to have that you desire, that feels good for you and meets most of your core relational needs. You keep coming back to what it is you deeply desire.
Time and time again you build up the muscle of self love, caring for your inner parts that are familiar with old pain, and you find ways to keep coming back to yourself, your sense of power, you become your own best self soothing friend.
What I offer is a high level coaching container over 4 or 6 months
This is a deep journey into embodied self love.
What it looks like to work with me:
- We meet fortnightly over 4 or 6 months for 1.5 hour sessions via Zoom video call. I take you through a range of processes to support you to connect with your body and subconscious.
- You receive powerful deep audios in between every session. These audios include guided breath work and guidance to connect with your inner child, your inner care giver, your empowered self and much more. These audios are where the re wiring and nurturing of new neural pathways takes place. I create personalised audios for you based on what comes up in our sessions and what parts of you need attending to.
- You have private 1:1 access to me in between sessions via what's app/email/phone where you share your journal notes, your insights, your challenges or triggers and you feel supported and held by me.
- You will be given the tools right at the beginning that supports you to self soothe. We work at your pace. This gets to feel good for you.
Investment for this coaching programme is early 4 figure.
Payment plan is also available.
I am pleased to share feedback from one woman that I worked with:
'I’ve finished a year of coaching with this awesome human... Emma Spiegler; since starting my journey into various different therapies of personal healing & growth, 20 years ago, Emma’s work, support & practices have been THE most transformative, because she incorporates the mind AND the body, tailoring her work specifically to each person. This work, combined with all the psychology work I’ve done, has consolidated much healing and this year has been one of the best experiences I have had with a coach so far! I can recommend her highly for anyone who’s experienced traumatic lives and now wishes to thrive'
Here's the link to book your 1hr complimentary call with me to see if we are a good coaching fit.