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A life time of performance

I saw a card billboard on the motorway recently that said: A lifetime of performance. I was taken aback at the meaning behind this slogan and the inherent guilt and shame inducing nature behind this message. You better buy this car or else....what kind of man are you. This is for the men and male identifying people out there. What comes up for you when you read this? I would be really interested to hear your thoughts. This very much sums up for me what I see with my male friends and male coaching clients. That they have been sold to and told how to be as men. That they have had limited access to role models of men showing a new way of what it means to be a man beyond the gender stereotypes that have cause untold problems. That to be a man is to perform a certain way. To have a hard cock that stays hard. To have a lot of money to take care of a woman. To be successful AND by a certain age. To make a woman feel safe. To be strong. To not be vulnerable. To not cry. To not be sensitive. To perform. Perform. Perform. Where does this leave our men? In very tight, restrictive boxes that leave no room or very little for expressing their authentic selves. In states of high anxiety and overwhelm and at the same time having no space to release or express how they feel. In places of shame, self doubt and isolation, holding them back from expressing who they actually are as a men and having meaningful connections with the world and others. Men what is supporting you right now as you explore and uncover how this mode of performance has impacted your life? What is supporting you to re define what it means for you to be a man? I have a few ideas: - connecting with other men in brother hood circles and groups - coaching - therapy - support and crisis phone lines - positive male role models p.s If you would like to work together with me and embark on a deep transformational coaching journey to re define what it means for you to be a man - Contact me and we can set up an initial call!


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Emma Spiegler

 

©2020 Emma Spiegler. 

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