If there is one thing that has been a driving force for the work I do and have done for the last 15 years it is to a part of reducing the amount of shame people feel.
There has been a fire in my gut that has propelled me to speak out about taboo subjects. First it was living with a loved ones drugs and alcohol addiction and now it's sexuality and trauma. I know all too well the pain of keeping things a secret and how secrets literally make us sick in our bodies and minds.
I know all too well how exhausting it is to have kept parts of myself secret for fear of not being accepted and being judged.
Prior to being a coach I set up a charity for young people impacted by a parents addiction to drugs and alcohol and would speak out in front of millions of people on live TV and radio sharing my own story because I wanted others to feel less alone. I used to absolutely shit myself doing this and yet it felt so rewarding when people would message me to say - me too.
It's the pain of thinking we are alone with our shame filled struggles that further intensifies our pain. I recently just finished working with a woman and what was so moving and incredible to hear was the direct impact working with her sexuality had on many other areas of her life. She made significant positive life changes. And this is the power of working with our sexuality. It's so deeply interwoven for many of us with the very fabric of our being. It's connected to our wounds, our desires, our insecurities, our identity, our bodies, minds and hearts.
When it comes to sexuality, here are the some of the common things I am seeing:
Shame around sex not looking like it does on the screen. When men come to me for coaching they are carrying so much pain and shame around the belief there is something wrong with them. For some men this has severely impacted their sense of self and their life because of it.
Woman share in the first call that they are unable to orgasm and that they do not enjoy s3x. Woman have internalised there is something wrong with them. They have lost their mojo and they are sometimes/all the time having s3x just to please their partner, and somehow this is because their bodies are not working as they 'should' do.
Shame around communicating about s3x. People come to me wanting to make changes in their sexually intimate lives with the partners and have now idea where to start because we literally have not been giving the maps or arousal or the communication skills to ask for what we need in intimacy or to find out what the other person likes and doesn't like.
I love what I do.
I love to see people achieve their desires and goals we set at the beginning of the coaching journey.
AND a lot of the work we do is working gently and powerfully to reduce shame:
By speaking about it - we release and reduce it's hold over us. By learning somatic based and talking based tools that support us to connect to shame with love and compassion we meet the needs of the voice of shame.
By receiving high quality and expert guidance and information we learn we are so much more 'normal' than we first thought, that others struggle with s3xuality too, that we are not alone, and that there empowering ways we can shift our s3xual narrative. We can shift the stories we tell ourselves.
Want to transform your life from the inside out ?
PM me for more information and to book an initial call, click here:
https://www.emmaspiegler.com/ p.s I don't spell some words correctly because I am still trying to figure out what words I can and cannot use - so many colleagues get banned when talking about ...you know what!
